You're Worth It

Early Tuesday morning (like 1:45am early) I awoke to a phone call from my sister.  "I've been having steady contractions for a little while now.  They're starting to hurt, and they've changed in feeling and intensity from the ones I've had the past few weeks."  We talked more, she called her midwife, and concluded that she needed to go in and get checked out.  Being 2 1/2 hours out and knowing my sister's first labor was short (for a first labor), I decided to get my things packed and go on.  When I was almost there, I got the report.  "I'm ONLY 2 centimeters."  I could hear the disappointment and frustration in her voice.  "It was like a slap in the face."  I arrived at the birth center about 5am, and slept on the couch for half an hour or so.  Midwife checked her out a couple hours later, and a little progression but not enough for her to stay.  It could be 24 hours, it could be 48 hours...  I ended up coming back to Wilmington midday and time went by.  When I talked with my sister that night, she was feeling better about things, but still feeling heavy and confused and disappointed in her body, and somewhat shameful to those who stepped in to help.  First of all, we cannot control the process of birth (well not if we want to trust our bodies and let it happen naturally).  Birth is not a performance.  There is nothing to prove to anyone.  I reminded my sister to shake off any pressure she felt because it was not healthy and all of us supported her and the timing, whatever it was.  You see, not only did I have to drive 2 1/2 hours for the birth, the grandmother drove a distance to watch big brother, and my parents met my husband on the road (1 hour each way for both of them) to watch our children.  It took a lot of people making sacrifices to get ready for the birth.  Thursday morning, I received a call at 5am, and it was time.  I left after finishing breakfast with the kids and everyone got back into place again.  I made it to the birth center an hour before my niece was born, and loved every second I had to support my sister during the birth and after.  Most of us have a hard time asking for help.  Especially when people go out of their way, or its inconvenient to them.  Where did we learn that we're not worth the sacrifices of others?  Who told us we were an inconvenience?  Because its simply not true.  Birth is never "convenient."  Its unpredictable and sometimes labor starts and stops and always varies in the amount of time it takes.  Women (and babies), you are worth every sacrifice.  Every midwife that waits, watches, supports all night when she's been awake for a couple days already, because she believes in the natural process of birth. Every doctor that has to leave appointments, family, dinner.  Every nurse that works tireless shifts.  Every parent that watches your older children at home.  Every sister that leaves her family in someone's care and jumps through hoops so she can support you.  Every mother or father that takes off work to come be with you in the birth.  Every friend that receives a text and drops what she's doing to pray.  Every man that stands by your side, supports you, fans you, rubs your back, endures the blood, fluid, placenta, and listens through the "taking care of your swollen vagina" talk.  We are put here on this earth together because we need each other!  We can't do it alone, and the sacrifices we make for each other are absolutely worth it.  Don't forget it.