I remember being pregnant with my firstborn, 6 years ago. Around Christmas time I was 5 months pregnant and barely had a bump, but I "felt" pregnant. I had been feeling the small movements of the baby and was treasuring this new awareness of life inside. Christmas was suddenly so magical, really for the first time since being a child. I was carrying a baby, and suddenly the scriptures about Jesus' birth took on a whole new meaning.
I was in awe of the faith and strength Mary had, to carry with confidence the child absent of an earthly father. Engaged to a man, but not married. A virgin. Did anyone believe she was a virgin? Probably not outside of her, Joseph, and her relatives who had gotten the news from an angel! For sure Joseph didn't believe her at first. I can't imagine the shunning she suffered in that day for carrying a child as a non-married woman. That was something women were stoned for. As I sat in my room, reading the story for the hundredth time, I thought about how excited and welcomed my baby was. By my family, by my friends, by every passerby that noticed the emerging bump...
Then, I kept reading. Oh that's right, when it came time for her birth, she was traveling. On a donkey! She had the nesting urge just like every other woman. And she couldn't do anything about it. And when she went into labor, there was no where left for them to go have the baby. Did her water break? Did her contractions come suddenly or drag out over several days? At what point in labor was she when they finally found somewhere to settle and have the baby? The place of birth: a barn. As I took all this in at that time in my life, and as I ponder it now, I am overwhelmed with tears. She wasn't just carrying any baby, she was carrying the Son of God. She was a human woman like me and you. She had the same hormones and emotions. And she gave birth to her son in a stable with animals and animal dung, and no one there to support her except her husband. I know he was wonderful for her, but that was in the day where women in the extended family would come and support a woman as she was birthing. She didn't have a veteran mom coaching her along. No midwife. No doctor. Who had to clean up the mess? Birth is messy! It was Joseph. And what did he use to clean it and where did he get it?
The Bible doesn't talk much about Mary's feelings and behavior through this whole process. I'm sure she had some major freak out moments. Especially traveling on a donkey being pregnant and again postpartum with a nursing baby. I wonder if she struggled with the baby blues the days, weeks, months after the birth? Sure she struggled with wanting to do everything perfect as a mother. Her child was to play the most important role of any man ever born! But two things stick out to me from the scriptures.
First off, when she conceived and went to visit her relative Elizabeth who was also pregnant, Elizabeth said the most amazing thing to her. "Blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of the things that were spoken to her from the Lord." There's a difference between hearing something, and believing it. After Elizabeth said that, Mary poured out her heart and adoration of the Lord, that He had chosen her for this! And she was amazed at the road laid out before her! Secondly, after the birth it reports people finding out and being astounded at the news and that the shepherds had an encounter with an angel who told them where to go to see this baby Savior. And Mary "was keeping within herself all these things, weighing and pondering them in her heart." Remember doing that while holding your sleeping newborn baby? Trying to soak it all in, that this baby that was once growing inside of you is now on the outside. And you have been given charge to mother a human being who will one day be an adult contributing to society! Mary was holding the Savior of the world in her arms. She was chosen to mother him. I can imagine the mix of amazement and fear.
Isolated from family and friends, with a husband who loved and believed in her, and with her faith in God whom she had heard and trusted, she endured the charge that was laid upon her. Because she drew her strength from the Source. So in the season of busyness and gift buying, wrapping, traveling, money spending, and family drama, take a moment to hold your baby (or belly) and recall this to mind. Read the story with fresh eyes.
